


Just Like In Anime

by prim_pomelo



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Steven Universe: Save The Light (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Multi, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 08:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11574531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prim_pomelo/pseuds/prim_pomelo
Summary: For the first time in Ronaldo's life,heis the one being wooed.





	Just Like In Anime

**Author's Note:**

> This is just absolute crack, I have no excuses. 
> 
> (As a side note, this story takes a line from the Keep Beach City Weird book about Ronaldo becoming a "super-cool sidekick" to the Crystal Gems to heart)

For the first time in Ronaldo's life, _he_ is the one being wooed.

"Well, _obviously_ I'm the correct choice here," Peridot presses her fingers against her the star on her chest. "After all, my intellect clearly far surpasses the processing power of your pebble-sized brain."

"The only thing that is _clear_ is that he's going to choose me, _you clod_ ," the other peridot growls as she jabs a floating finger in Peridot's face, "Who would even want to pursue a romantic relationship a with a shorty like you?"

Said shorter peridot slaps away the finger from her face and yells, her eyes lit with fire, "Hey! I'm just as proud to be a member of the Shorty Squad as I am to be a Crystal Gem!"

"That's simply idiotic, why would you be proud of being inferior?" The square-haired peridot crosses her arms, glaring down at the other green gem. She then raises a brow, "Would you like to tell me again what happened to your limb enhancers? The fact that you managed to lose objects of such importance speaks greatly of your ability."

"What does that have to do with anything!?"

Ronaldo starts to tune out the peridots' argument and stares blankly at the scene before him as his mind struggles to processes everything.

The first time his affection is trying to be won by someone instead of the other way around, it's by two of the same kind of gemstone aliens from space who had both initially wanted the Earth to be destroyed, but instead were shown the True Power of Friendship and were brought over to the forces of good.

 _My life's a lot like some really, really weird anime,_  Ronaldo can't help but think as the two green gems continue to bicker.

"You two are clearly incompatible," the one-eyed peridot scoffs, "for example, you still obsess over that silly "Camp Pining Hearts", when Ronaldo has correctly stated multiple times that "it's garbage in TV show form"."

"Who are you to talk? You don't even watch his favorite ann-i-me, "Koala Princess"!"

"It's pronounced, ah-nee-may," Ronaldo pipes up, his mind still drenched in concentration.

"Ah-nee-may," Peridot restates.

The young man furrows his brow as he continues to think deeply. 

If he were to accept one of these two gems' romantic pursuits ( _and believe him, he does want to_ ), he would quite likely ruin his relationship with the other, and he _really_ didn't want for that.

But what can he do?

He hums and rubs his bearded chin (after years of failed attempts, he's finally managed to grow it out right), not noticing the growing volume of the confrontation in front of him.

A sudden and obvious solution hits him and he can nearly feel the warmth of the light bulb glowing over his head.

"We're getting nowhere with this," Squaridot sighs.

Peridot sneers, "And who's fault is that?"

The taller gem rolls her eye, "Can we just get back on track?"

Peridot mutters something under her breath before nodding and putting her hands on her hips.

 _-but even if that worked, how would everybody react to that? Pee Dee, the other Gems, the rest of the citizens in town,_ Ronaldo swallows, _Dad?_

_"Ahem. Ronaldo."_

After some time his father had finally begun to support his oldest son becoming a bit of a sidekick to the gems-

_"Ronaldo?"_

-but there's no way his dad would _ever_ support _this..._

"Ronaldo!"

Ronaldo is abruptly pulled from the anxiety just beginning to mount up in his mind back to two looking at him with equally exasperated faces that quickly melt into smug (and cute, he notes with sweat dripping from his brow) expressions.

"Huh?" the young man says, staring dumbly.

Both green gems put their arms behind their backs and stand straight, proudly puffing out their chests.

"Which one of us do you choose?" They say in unison.

_Oh. Wow._

_This is **exactly**  like it is in anime._

_But this is perfect._  

Ronaldo exhales a shaky breath and clenches his fists.

He makes up his mind in that moment. 

Since when was he the type who cares about what other people think, anyway?

"I choose..." he pauses for dramatic effect, "...both of you."

_Although it somehow comes out sounding confident, Ronaldo's mind is screaming._

 

 

_...or maybe the screaming is just Peridot and Squaridot._

" **WHAT!?** "

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this at like 2AM last night, don't look at me.


End file.
